The Changing Tide
I wasn’t an Anthony Bourdain fan. I also wasn’t into Kate Spade. I mean, they both did interesting things and appear to have been interesting people, I just can’t say I was any kind of fan of either.
But two celebrity suicides in one week is a lot. It’s hard not to take notice, hard not to wonder if it’s somehow reflective of a broader societal issue – I know that I’ve seen quite a few articles recently saying suicide rates are up in America. I know that shows/books like 13 Reasons Why are sparking a lot of conversations about suicide. I know that a lot of my peers seem more willing to engage conversation about mental illness and suicide – together or each on their own.
Is this because we are seeing more suicide? Or are we just more willing to TALK about suicide? Have the numbers actually increased or are things that would once have been labeled “unknown causes” or some other innocuous phrase in an obituary now being owned as suicide? And does this suggest that we are more ready, willing, and able to talk about the issues that lead to suicide or, more cynically, does it instead imply that we really like to gossip and social media means we can gossip further, faster, and need juicier topics?
Like so many things that I find myself wanting to write about, I genuinely don’t know.
But I do know that I’m sad in a weird and sort of general way to hear about another suicide. In recent months I’ve heard about the same celebrity suicides you have but I’ve also had several friends who have been directly affected by a suicide in their circle. I find myself feeling lucky that recently none of the people in my own circle have walked this path.
When I was in high school a boy the grade above me committed suicide. I did not know him well, only to be able to point him out in the hallway, not to talk to or hang with. This death was so shocking, so unexpected, that the entire school fell apart for a few days. We – meaning the ENTIRE student body – were released from classes for two days. After that they had grief counselors and if you needed to be out of class to talk with them that was considered fully excused. All of us, even those of us who didn’t know him, mourned together. It was unthinkable that one of us had died this way, and uncommon enough that the entire city took notice.
A few years ago one of my students disappeared and was found a few days later, having committed suicide. It was a blow to our school, that is true, but it was clear to me that the impact of this student’s suicide was nowhere near the earth-shattering blow of my fellow student in the past. I was shocked by the ease at which people talked of other suicides, how quickly we all returned to life as if nothing had changed.
It feels like a lot has changed.
In my heart what I hope is that increased awareness, increased conversation, increased acknowledgment that suicide happens and maybe we should be asking ourselves why is, ultimately, a good thing, a way to start building support structures for those who need and want them. I want this to be what we strive toward.
(c) Regan Wann 2018