Sometimes I write things.
A Reiki share is, well, it's a lot of things. Often it is an intentional gathering of Reiki practitioners of varied levels who share energy with one another, a "heal the healer" gathering (spoiler alert: healers can be super bad about self-care!). Sometimes, though, a Reiki share can turn into something genuinely beyond the sum of its parts.
There were only two folks who were Reiki attuned at this particular share, myself and one other kind person who agreed to help me when they realized I had a group of 20+ and otherwise I'd be totally solo. Sometimes when you are leading a group or workshop, I'm not going to lie, you just have to wing it. Another friend allowed me to pull them in to give us a drumbeat, and as the drum began, I looked at the group: they were open, excited, anxious, hopeful. They were, every one of them, ready to heal and be healed.
So I made the call.
I walked them through the basics of how we approach Reiki: it is not our own energy we give, we are opening the door for folks to heal themselves, Reiki will do no harm. I led them through the precepts (call and response). I walked everyone through a quick shielding exercise, then I invited everyone to participate in the share. As we worked, person by person, more joined each circle as other dropped out, although many stayed near to support. Folks identified themselves as energy healers, even if not Reiki-specific. Everyone brought their beautiful best.
I felt that we were nearing the end of our share and invited one of the last volunteers to take the mat. I asked them if they were open to touch, emphatic yes. As we pulled close and took our now-familiar places, this person breathed in deeply, then relaxed. Moments later, the tears began, and encouragement followed fast behind: it is OK, you are beautiful, let it go, let it out, we are here with you, we love you. Soul-deep, this person wept and began to keen, pouring out pain and sorrow held for a long, long time. We, too, began to keen - one lovely soul making music from the wail - and we all took up their lead: yipping, howling, crying out wordlessly in shared emotion and support.
As the wave began to subside, we breathed deeply together, holding on longer than we had with anyone before. As we began to make eye contact again, as the person we were working on began to come back to themself again, everyone seemed to recognize what a gift that experience had been.
After, we took care of each other. Holding hands, hugging, wiping tears, getting water. The share broke up soon after, the event continued, and all of us began moving back into our own selves. But also, we had more than shared, we had SHARED, in the miracle experience of a person allowing personal healing before us. It was intense, it was awe-inspiring, it was was immensely personal while being holistically universal. It was nothing I could have done on my own, it took us all. It took a share.
#reiki #reikihealing #goddexx #reikishare #everydaymiracles #selfhealing #grouphealing #reganwann
I am a fan of Reiki work with non-humans. When you are working with a cat, a dog, a bird, a horse you know where you stand. If they are open to receiving energy, they stay. If they aren't, THEY TELL YOU, or they just, you know, leave. As a practitioner, I also get a clearer sense of not only where blockages exist, but what work those blockages are doing and if the being is ready to let them go.
Humans are more complicated. We say we want to heal or grow, often we even believe it, while also not recognizing that we DO NOT want to heal or grow, or that we will actively recreate our own blockages if the long-standing ones are removed. We are masters of emotional sleight of hand, masking our deeper challenges with logical and reasonable emotional facsimiles, allowing the real issue(s) to stay protected. Which is not always negative, and if I'm being honest, unpicking these knots is highly satisfying. I suppose I'm merely attempting to illustrate that there is something straightforward and elegant about working on a being who has no interest in rationalizing why/how/when and will directly let me know if they are interested in support on their healing journey.
And sometimes understanding how actively they choose to allow you to support that journey is intense, emotional, and wonderful.
Chili is a one-person horse. She and her person have a true partnership - which is both a good and a bad thing, as they feed one another's emotional state in both positive and negative ways. A few years back, they had a traumatic accident together, leading to both taking a true fall that had a strong emotional component beyond what the physical situation would have suggested. Both of them have been working on overcoming their trauma, but Chili's person realized that she was further along than Chili was, and this mare was not showing signs of letting go of the issue.
Chili and her person worked with an animal communicator who clarified some of this and, as part of the healing path, suggested that Chili would benefit from Reiki, which is where I came in. Based on the story, I had some concern that Chili would outright refuse to work with me. If you don't know horses at all, nothing can stonewall you like 1000+ pounds of "noping" horse, so I walked into the barn wondering if I was going to be shunned right the heck back out.
Instead I found myself standing next to a lovely, anxious, but willing being, curious about what I was there to do. Her curiosity, in fact, was nearly visceral and when I started the session she immediately invited me in, almost as if she just had to know whether this was going to work or not. As we worked together I realized that Chili's person was going to have to be integral, was integral, in Chili regaining her confidence and allowing herself to heal. I called her over and encouraged her to more actively participate as I worked, which relaxed Chili even more into the experience.
Without nerding out into moment by moment, I will just share that the experience was genuinely magical. Chili opened herself up to receiving energy not only far beyond what I expected, but FAR beyond what most horses will allow. She honored me with her trust. At one point she broke out in a sweat, one in which I could actively see toxicity leaking out of her, like she was letting it go, finally, after holding it for far too long. After that her entire body relaxed and, as we neared the end of our session, she began to yawn and droop, now just "chill" and ready to take over the healing on her own.
I consider the fact that I was able to support that transition a genuine gift. Chili is an exceptionally intelligent horse, so the face that she chose to trust me is a MASSIVE gift. This experience will stand out as one of those times that I understand why I am so drawn to this work, why it matters to bring what you can to those who are willing to be open, and why non-human interactions can be as, and sometimes even more, meaningful than those with humans. Thank you, Chili (and Allie) for creating the opportunity for this healing to happen.
#reikihealer #reikihealing #readingsbyregan #horsereiki #animalreiki #reikimaster #giftsfromtheuniverse #healingwork #energywork #reganwann #chilithehorse
This part of my body, I struggle to love.
But do you know?
How lovely to touch,
nothing monstrous for a space so maligned.
There is less of it now, people tell me again and again how much better that must make me.
for the teeth,
the dark shadows that indicate the evil within.
I find only lovely doughiness,
a place I would want to kiss on someone else,
and I weep from wanting to stop hating this place that does nothing to deserve it.
(c) Regan Wann 2022
trying to engage more fully -
present more honestly -
put more that is actual me in the world
it's not easy, but I'm doing it.
The people who need and want that connection will find me. Experiences will be shared. Some will be good. Some bad. Some will be in that in-between, the liminal space that I claim as part of who I am.
Neither fish nor fowl,
a touch of both,
and something else besides.
Join me. Talk with me for awhile. Let's see where we go,
(c) Regan Wann 2022